2014: Resolve to Be Your (Imperfect) Self

As 2014 stares me squarely in the eyes, I’m struggling to find the words to say. Do I talk about my past accomplishments of 2013? Do I make lofty resolutions for the 364 more days ahead? I’m actually not going to do either.

2014: Resolve to Be Your (Imperfect) Self

There was nothing wrong with 2013. I stepped out of my comfort zone in many ways. If I could have seen into the future last New Year’s, I would be very surprised with what I have done in 2013: got my first “big girl” job, tried to sell Mary Kay for a brief time, joined a book club, ran my 2nd half-marathon as well as started training for a 3rd.

My life has been marked with a lot of change lately – changes that in the past, I’m almost certain my former self would have objected to. But here I am – working full-time, following my training, happily married, living in a city I love. So, what’s the problem with that?

I’ll answer that question in a bit, but a little back story first. I started reading The Gifts of Imperfection over my Christmas vacation. I’m not done with the book yet (and I’m not claiming it’s some holy grail for perfectionists or anything), but I do think I’ve had a bit of a wake up call while reading it. I’ve realized two things recently (that I do credit to reading the book), which are: I am typically living in fear and I am (most of the time) not authentically me.

Be Real

A line from the book that put my life lately into perspective was this: “Deep down, we want to take off our game face and be real and imperfect” (pg. 61). After reading that line, I put the book down and said to myself That’s it. That’s what I want that I don’t have. 

So long story short – my officially unofficial non-resolution resolution for 2014 is this: be myself.

Be wholeheartedly, truly, unwaveringly myself. Stop trying to pretend I am not myself or that I don’t feel the way I do. Start saying what I need and feeling what I need to feel. Stop living numbly in waiting for perfection that doesn’t exist. And just start living. 

Changes Ahead

Part of me doesn’t know what this looks like yet – and that’s okay, I’ll figure it out in time. But I do know what part of “being me” looks like. A lot of those changes will be reflected on the blog.

Some changes you can expect on here are:

  • I’m not going to try to blog every day. I stopped blogging on weekends a few months ago and it was the best decision I ever made. My typical goal every week is to blog every week day, but I am going to let that go for now. I am going to blog when I want to, when I have time, and most importantly, when I have something valuable to say.
  • I’m not continuing my Faith in My Friday series for the reason above. I love sharing my faith and encouraging others to share their posts as well, but I don’t love feeling like I have to blog on Friday’s about my faith. It’s been to confining. I will continue to blog about my faith – just in my own timing (which I think will be much more enjoyable).
  • I’m actually going to write about perfectionism, my struggles with accepting myself, and the freedom that I know exists for all of us – whether it be from perfectionism, fear, or something else. I started this blog to talk about those things so I’m going to, regardless of how I may have dropped off that bandwagon.

I love my blog and don’t regret what it is right now, but I want this place to be 100% what I want it to be. The look, feel, and tone of my blog may change, but I hope you’ll stick around to see me through.

Some life changes I’m expecting are:

  • Choosing to deal with my feelings through prayer and journaling. I need this for my soul and I neglect myself of it far too often.
  • Learning how to speak up in my work place instead of just “letting things happen,” and take charge of my career.
  • Starting a cleanse diet on the 6th for 21 days (and follow relatively clean eating afterward).
  • Declaring that this year is the year to be me, to choose stepping out over fear, to choose what want over anything else. Maybe that sounds a little selfish, but I feel like I’ve been way too caught up in worries over what other people may think or want for far too long. I think it’s time to let myself be okay with my own decisions.

Maybe these sound like totally crackpot “resolutions” – and that’s because they’re not. These are life changes that I’ve been thinking about for quite a while now. I guess the New Year just gives me a convenient opportunity to air them ;)

So while I don’t necessarily believe in resolutions, this year I am resolving to be me – mistakes, flaws, imperfections and all. Some of you have chosen a “word of the year” as a guide for your focus. This year, my guiding phrase is “be yourself,” even if that self is not that put together, still working out the kinks, and far from perfect.

Hello, 2014. Hello, me.

Getting gutsy is all about stepping outside your comfort zone to reach your goals. I’m participating in Jessica Lawlor’s #GetGutsy Essay Contest. To get involved and share your own gutsy story, check out this post for contest details.

Comments

  1. I’m not big into resolutions either. I’m really liking a trend of seeing people choose almost themes of how they want to live in the New Year.I’m excited to see you implement your theme/goal of being yourself within your blog. Authenticity speaks! Best wishes for 2014! I’m glad that you allow people like myself to be along for the ride!
    Stacie recently posted…Christmas in the City: The Last Day : (My Profile

    • That’s a great way of putting it, Stacie: a theme for the year. I think people are becoming much more focused on living intentionally, especially in each day, instead of just making a list of goals for resolutions these days. I like the new trend as well.

  2. I think this is a great “non-resolution” for the new year. It is so easy to say, but I agree it is hard to be yourself. From all of your posts I can tell how you are just longing to draw close and be close to the Lord. I think your goals will definitely help you do that. I love the changes you are going to make with your blog, and you know I will stick around. :)
    Becky recently posted…Surprise, Surprise!My Profile

  3. I am very much looking forward to your posts on perfectionsim. I spend far too much time worrying what other people think and would love to be free of it. I think it is wonderful one of the changes you make is to “be yourself” – I am going to work hard on this too :) . I am definitely sticking around – I love your honesty and can relate to what you are saying!

  4. Staying true to yourself is the best”non-resolution-resolution” I have heard. You are one smart cookie ;) 2013 was a great year for you with all of the changes, and I can’t wait to see what 2014 brings!

    P.S. which half are you training for again?
    Laura @losingrace recently posted…#YearofRunning13My Profile

    • Thanks, Laura! I’m training for the Manhattan Half Marathon, but this year it’s called the Fred Lebow Half for some reason. It’s in NYC at Central Park :)

  5. I love this!!!! What a great way to start 2014! It can be really difficult to be comfortable with being yourself–I too am a perfectionist and a people pleaser!! I have found that as I have gotten older, I have become more and more comfortable with who I am!
    Brittany @ Read, Run, Repeat recently posted…So long 2013!My Profile

  6. Love it! It sounds like 2014 is going to be a great, freeing year for you, Melissa! Looking forward to following along with you on the blog. xo
    Carly @ Fine Fit Day recently posted…Get SMART this year: Working (Out) MamaMy Profile

  7. Love this “being gentle with yourself-ness” in your 2014 thoughts, Melissa. Enjoy and Savor!

  8. Great post! Happy 2014!
    Jen@PregnantDiabetic recently posted…2014My Profile

  9. I wish you a Happy New year!
    xx
    http://analeote.blogspot.pt/
    Ana Leote recently posted…Looking back at 2013 & New Years ResolutionsMy Profile

  10. I cannot WAIT to read more! Your perfectionism posts are my absolute favorite. Good luck!
    Katie @ Live Half Full recently posted…January Mini GoalsMy Profile

  11. I think your official unofficial resolution is wonderful. Like you 2013 was an amazing year. It was a year of growth and exploration. For 2014 I decided to skip the resolutions and stick with a theme. You have some realistic life changes set for this upcoming year. Good Luck!
    Amusingly Quirky recently posted…A Simple Theme For The New Year: DaringMy Profile

  12. I love this! Especially about being the year of “me” – I’ve really decided this year is my year to ask for the things I want and to walk away from things that don’t make me better. 2014 is going to be a great year!
    kim @ Racing Bananas recently posted…New Years 2013!My Profile

  13. This is so exciting for me to see! I know this year is going to be amazing for you. Don’t worry about not blogging every day… remember that your blog is for YOU! :)

  14. Hi Melissa, I just read Brene Brown’s book in the last 36 hours, then wrote my own ‘Imperfection blog’ post – not yet published… and then found you by googling ‘imperfection blog’ to see what was out there!!! So I’m very glad to meet you and connect around this. My favourite quote was Brene’s mantra for when facing a vulnerable situation: “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are pp. 53-54. So this year, I’m seeking my sacred ground.

    • Hi, Becky! I’m so glad you found my blog by that search! I definitely like that quote of hers as well. We just have to be ourselves and do what is best for us. Have a great 2014!

  15. I know I’m late on commenting, but I LOVE everything you shared. I definitely identify with ALL that you touched on. I am a “recovering perfectionist” and while some may not understand it, I 100% understand you when you say you want to just be you…me too sister. :-) I’m excited to follow you on this journey!
    Sarah @ Sarah Sincerely recently posted…To Be HonestMy Profile

  16. Melissa, thank you SO much for participating in the contest.

    I absolutely lOVED your entry and think your “resolution” to be your imperfect self is extremely beautiful and completely authentic. That is so important.

    I also love your realizations about your blog- isn’t it refreshing when you make a decision to do exactly what YOU want to do without worrying about what everyone else is doing?
    xoxox
    Jessica Lawlor recently posted…Get Gutsy Essay Contest Winning Entry #3: Restricted Free-Agent by Kami MattioliMy Profile

Trackbacks

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