To Be a Humble Helper

Good afternoon!

It’s a gorgeous day here in New England! The sun is out, the birds are chirping, and I even have my windows open. I even got to enjoy my breakfast with the sight of these beauties, some “just because” flowers :)

Flower & breakfast

It’s really feeling like spring! And of course, I could not pass up the chance to run outside with this kind of weather, so I went for a 4 mile run. I wasn’t freezing so it was basically amazing. Sadly, I think there’s actually light snow in the forecast later this week. But a glimmer of spring sure makes me happy :)

Does anyone else feel like March (or the whole year) is just whizzing by?! I feel like it was just yesterday that I was planning my March goals and started reading The Love Dare. I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without an update on how my goals are going, besides our first date day. Oops! Here’s an update!

The Love Dare

I am on day 17 of The Love Dare today. It’s amazing how fast 17 days can go by, because it really feels like no time at all. But that means that I’m almost half-way through.

As of right now, I can say that reading this book and the doing the dares has been an amazing experience. To say I have seen change in my marriage and myself is an understatement.

I like this book because…

  • It’s completely Biblically based. Every point about love goes back to the fact that because He loved, we love and that God loves us unconditionally, so we in turn should love our spouses the same. 
  • The “dares” are not ridiculous, corny, or trite.
  • It’s short and simple enough to read every day.

This book has ultimately melted hard parts of my heart away. Not completely away, but I feel know my heart is much softer than it was before I started reading it. Honestly, the first few days I was reading it, I had terrible pride going into it. I felt angry that I was the one having to give in or let go of things.

But the book addresses that very “problem,” if you will, claiming that it doesn’t matter who it is in your marriage to start loving deeper, being nicer, and letting go of past problems. It doesn’t matter because once you start – change happens. Change that you deeply desire. So you might as well start and let go of that pride.

Some of the biggest things I’ve learned so far is that love is not determined by being love but by choosing to love (aka, unconditional love). I’ve learned that the more in tune with God I am about my own struggles and my marriage – making sure to pray about my marriage often – the softer my heart is toward things that would normally fire me up. I’ve learned that love is an effort you take on every day.

Love needs little bursts of energy and compassion every day. To me, this has looked like making the hubs some brownies, praying for him more than normal, stopping being frustrated with an issue and just surrendering it to the Lord, and generally being grateful for the marriage God has given me.

Before I started this book, I would have definitely said my marriage was good and generally just fine. I feel like this book has helped me look onto my marriage with eyes of compassion and hope, though. I often look onto problems in my marriage with feelings of hopelessness, like there is no way for things to be different. This is how I looked at life in general before I knew Christ. But I truly feel like by exploring what love is and learning how to show it in meaningful ways, my hope has been restored. I see growth. I feel closeness only a marriage from God can deliver. Even in the small issues, I see reactions changing and love blossoming instead of being stomped out by my previous hopeless feelings.

The Love Dare has shown me that my role in marriage as my husband’s “helper” is an important one. In accepting and taking responsibility in my role as a humble and loving helper, I’m saying yes to God and yes to love growing in my marriage. I’m so excited to finish this book and the dares, and I can’t wait to give my full review.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite verses about love, 1 John 4:18:

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.”

Questions for you:

  • Is it feeling “springy” yet where you live?
  • What workout do you have going on today?


  1. It is not springy here yet at all…in fact it is snowing :( I am super jealous of your beautiful run!
    Allison recently posted…Liebster Award + Buff-Up Your ManMy Profile

  2. I am getting some sunshine at the park today before the rain comes tonight!
    Ashley @ Life and Fitness recently posted…WIAW- True Life: I’m A Messy EaterMy Profile

  3. I think I am going to look into getting this book to read even before marraige! Might be good preparatin :) It is springy out here in Oregon! I am loving the sun and nice temps! It is snowing at home so I’m not missing it! I got in a little over 3 mile run and hope to do an Insanity DVD this afternoon.
    Heather @fitncookies recently posted…Being From Pennsylvania…My Profile

    • I almost did read this book right before my wedding. But I didn’t want the added pressure of having to read a book and do a dare every single day for 40 days along with crazy wedding planning.

      I’m actually glad I waited to read this book AFTER marriage because I feel like I understand so much more of what it talks about. But I would recommend reading this book, period, no matter when you read it. It’s great!

  4. It’s been snowing all day today :(. It looks pretty, but it doesn’t feel like it’s the middle of March!
    Emily @ Perfection Isn’t Happy recently posted…A Visit from the Schwan’s ManMy Profile

  5. It is definitely spring-like weather here and I love it! This weekend the highs are going to be in the 80s :) I am so excited!!
    Kate @ Quarter Century Southern Living recently posted…Little Things to LoveMy Profile

  6. Which book did you buy? The 40 day book? Have you watched the movie?

    Does your husband know all about it or are you basically using it as a tool for you?
    Katie @ Live Half Full recently posted…WIAW: New (to me) and Exciting!My Profile

    • It’s just called “The Love Dare.” It’s a 40 day devotional. I haven’t ever seen Fireproof, but I want to. My husband does know I’m doing this, but I am the only one doing it right now.

      • You must see the movie! My husband thinks it is cheesy with a good message, but I could watch it every weekend.

        I was always a sucker for chick flicks before I was a believer and thoroughly examined the content of movies, shows, and music. I have since given up the flicks, but I love having this one to indulge in. :-)
        Chelsea recently posted…Book Review: If You Have a Craving, I Have a CureMy Profile

  7. OMG March is whizzing by!!! The weather has been so bipolar lately! Today was cold but I’m hoping tmrw will be nice enough for a run outside! I think it’s great that you work constantly on your marriage :)
    Maureen @ Breaking Free & Finding Me recently posted…My Personality TypeMy Profile

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