freeing imperfections

Embracing the imperfect in every day

A BUSY SUMMER

by Leave a Comment

The next three months are going to be wildly busy for me!

June and July are our last months here in Boston. We have lots of visitors and trips planned. I hope we can make the most of our summer before our move in August. And of course we’re still learning how to do life with a baby, so it should be an interesting summer to say the least! 

summer in Boston

June

  • Friend Melissa visiting for the weekend
  • Claire gets her 2 month shots – eek! 
  • Road trip to North Carolina for a wedding & spending 2 days in NYC on the way back 
  • Our 3 year anniversary 
  • Camping trip in New Hampshire 
  • My dad visiting for the weekend 

July

  • Friend Chloe visiting for the weekend 
  • Hubby’s birthday 
  • Weekend trip to Portland, Maine 
  • My sister visiting for a week 
  • Throw our going away party 
  • Start packing

August 

  • Leave MA at the start of the month 
  • Visit a friend in OH 
  • Spend 10 days or so with my in-laws in Tennessee 
  • Final destination: Texas! 

When I look at this and think we are going to do all this travelling with Claire, it does totally overwhelm me. I’m sure we’ll make it, but I’m definitely not expecting it all to be very pretty or go quite as planned. I’m sure it’ll be exciting either way! 

Love Melissa

Questions for You:

  • What plans do you have for the summer? 
  • What are you most looking forward to this summer?

SCENES FROM THE WEEKEND { 06.08 }

by Leave a Comment

Just popping in real quick this morning to share some pics from the weekend. My very best friend Melissa who I’ve known since 7th grade came to visit from Colorado.

This pic of her & Claire pretty much says it all.

image

I’m actually surprised she didn’t try to kidnap her 😉 Melissa was so good with Claire & Claire was such a good baby all weekend.

image

We had a downtown day of Quincy Market, North End, & general sightseeing on Friday. Saturday we shopped in Back Bay & then went to Harpoon.

image

Claire enjoyed her first brewery tour. Dad was definitely a happy camper!

I’ll be sharing all our eats from the weekend for WIAW this week because we pretty much ate our way across town.

It was so great to see my friend. Even though we don’t see each other often, it’s like we pick back up right where we left off every time. 

3 THINGS I DIDN’T EXPECT POSTPARTUM

by Leave a Comment

Today’s post comes with a heavy heart. As much as I adore my daughter, I will admit that I have been struggling for the past month or so.

I thought that since the first few weeks after she was born I was doing great, it meant that I was “in the clear” for baby blues or postpartum depression. Everything was literally blissful and great for the first three weeks of her life. Until it wasn’t. And it was like all my emotions and hormones hit me like a ton of bricks all at once. 

I don’t have full on “bad” postpartum depression (and yes, I’ve seen a doctor), but the past month has not been that pretty. Despite all the “what to expect” type of articles or books I read when I was pregnant, the postpartum period has been anything but what I expected.

3 Things I Didn't Expect Postpartum

I share this today to get it off my chest and hopefully provide a realistic look for moms-to-be that I wish I had really known about. 

1. Your clothing really will not fit after giving birth. And may never fit again. 

I definitely didn’t expect to lose all the weight at once or be in amazing shape instantly after having a baby. However, despite not being overweight before pregnancy, not gaining too much during pregnancy, breastfeeding now, and being as active as I can – I thought I’d at least see some progress come two months postpartum. 

I mentioned a bit ago that I haven’t lost any weight since coming home with Claire. I’m definitely not falling into the camp of breastfeeding being some magical thing that helps the weight just “drop off,” as I was lead to believe. Weight isn’t really the issue, though. I just want to wear my own clothes again! 

Even my biggest clothing is jokingly too small now. I can only fit into pre-pregnancy yoga pants and non-form fitting things like maxi skirts. I didn’t come home and hope that my skinny jeans fit, but now I’m really starting to feel like they are never ever going to fit again. 

I’ve already been told many times that “it took 9 months to get this way, so it can take that long or longer to get back,” but I find that comment wildly unhelpful at this time. The more new moms I talk to, the more I hear women say that their pants really did never fit again or that they were in maternity clothes for 9-12 months after giving birth. In my head, I knew that I would be different and that it would take time. I think I just grossly underestimated how different and how much time it would take.

2. You can skip the “Baby Blues” and get PPD anyway. 

I really didn’t feel a twinge of sadness after Claire was born. I was on a total high after her birth for days. I was under the impression that if you were going to develop PPD, baby blues would come first and it would all be so obvious that you were developing PPD. 

I didn’t start becoming sad until three weeks later, and when I did, it hit me like a ton of bricks out of no where so I was very confused as to what was going on. Technically PPD is defined as any episode of depression and/or anxiety within the first 12 months after having a baby, so it really can come at any time after birth. 

3. You can get your period soon after birth & while breastfeeding. 

Again, another thing I feel I was mislead with. I assumed my period wouldn’t return for at least three months or so since I was breastfeeding. Many medical websites even say moms who don’t breastfeed sometimes don’t get a period for three months or longer. I assumed I could be anywhere from 3-6 months at the very least without a period again. 

I got mine back at six weeks. This was not only shocking, but horribly hormonal for me. In six weeks time, I had given birth, breastfed, been completely sleep deprived, and then had PMS like none other and got my period. Holy hormones. No one had prepared me for that and I felt like I was momentarily going insane. It also disrupted breastfeeding because of the shift in hormones, which was not fun.

____

Postpartum is such a tender time. The change is not in just bringing home a baby. The change is in yourself, your health (since I’m sure sleep is limited and nutrition may not be the best right now), your marriage and relationships, your hormones, and a baby. It’s easier to deal with any one of those changes at a time, but all of them thrown together at once? It’s no wonder that PPD is so common and we hear so much about the warning signs for it. 

I’ve hesitated sharing more about this topic because it’s just hard to write about & I don’t want to discourage new moms, but I do hope to share more information on my postpartum experience in the future. I think it helps me to be able to write about it and if this information can help anyone else out there, it’s worth it.

Questions for You:

  • What has been surprising about the postpartum period for you? 
  • What myths are out there that you think hurt women’s postpartum progress?

Please note that it’s hard to be open about a subject so personal. Please comment wisely. This is not intended as medical advice and is only commentary on my own experiences.

THE TEXAS ADVENTURE BEGINS

by Leave a Comment

Hey, guys! We made it to Texas in one piece! 

We left Boston and took about three days to get down to Tennessee where we stayed with my in-laws for two and a half weeks. Grammy + grandpa loved having their granddaughter around. She got quite spoiled with attention & gifts. I could easily live with my in-laws. They take such good care of us! I didn’t want to leave, but I did want to get on with our move down here. 

Unfortunately, as soon as we got to Tennessee, Claire hit a huge sleep regression, aka the “four month sleep regression” for any of you up-to-date mommy’s. I’m sure that our lack of routine and tons of traveling did not help, but I think she was going to hit this sleep regression at that time anyway. So my plans of working out and reading every day died pretty quickly. She went from waking up once a night to feed to waking up not even hungry but just babbling and wide awake three-five times a night and also stopped napping. 

I got sleep deprived real quick! I was upset about this for a bit because I felt we had just started getting longer stretches of sleep with her and having a really good schedule, and then I felt like we lost it all overnight. But my husband pointed out that it was actually a good time for the regression to happen because we had nothing going on in Tennessee anyway. We think she is over the hump of it now, but I’m sure things will take some time getting back to normal since we are still all over the place with this move.

As far as Texas goes, we are really in the middle of no where. As we drove here on a two lane highway, we saw maybe 4 other cars. The only things on the way were ranches, farms, & a windmill plant. I know some of you have asked where we are in Texas, but for security reasons I don’t reveal our specific location. I know that it’s unlikely that anyone is going to hunt me down in some po-dunk town, but this is the internet where anyone can read so I just don’t feel comfortable giving out those kind of details since I can’t say we live in Dallas or some other big city center. We are in West Texas though, anywhere from 3-5 hours from all the major cities. People I’ve talked to who are from Texas haven’t ever heard of our town! 

As for housing, we are in a hotel right now. We thought the house we had in mind to rent would be ready to move into by now but it’s not. We may get to move in Saturday, but most likely Monday. The previous tenants left it a total mess so it’s being professionally cleaned. It is definitely nothing great. If we were going to be here any longer than 6 ish months, we probably wouldn’t have considered this place, but since it’s for such a short time, it’ll do. 

So in the next few days, we have to live out of a hotel, hopefully get settled into a house, buy a washer & dryer (it doesn’t come with), set up utilities, & figure out where our stuff is. We are having issues with the movers and don’t know when our stuff will arrive. Since we didn’t have an address to send our goods to, they got put in storage and we have to schedule a time for them to be delivered, but we don’t know the day we get the house & the movers are being hard to get a hold of, so… that’s fun. We did bring a big trailer full of the basics so we could live somewhat comfortably for a few weeks if it takes that long for our stuff to arrive. 

This whole moving experience so far as been a huge exercise in realizing that I am not in control. I can’t control how and when my baby sleeps or her temperament when we are traveling. I don’t even know where 90% of our belongings are at the moment or when they will arrive and in what condition. I don’t know when life will return to “normal” for us and when we can have a routine again. God has been so good to us in this time, blessing our travels. We did not have one hiccup in travels and Claire actually did do well a majority of the time. But He is showing me that this move was a leap of faith, an exercise in trusting Him with the details, not my own understanding or desire for control. 

I trust that our stuff will get here someday. I trust that Claire will sleep again soon. I trust that even if this house is not ideal or that nice, God provided it for a reason and it’s only temporary. 

Love Melissa

Questions for You: 

  • What’s your least favorite thing about moving? I miss my closet right now + don’t like living out of a suitcase.
  • What are you trusting in, even if it isn’t working out like you “planned?” 

GETTING SETTLED… SORT OF

by Leave a Comment

Hey guys! 

Well, I ended up taking a little bit longer of a break than I expected, but here I am! 

This move has been kind of the Murphy’s Law move: what can go wrong will go wrong. I was going to give y’all an update about how things were going last week but all I had to say were negative things about it. I’m really glad I waited until I was feeling more human and chipper  

So, what’s been going on? 

We still do not have our stuff. The moving company majorly screwed up. What I’ve gathered is, our stuff was supposed to be put on a crate and FedEx’d here. Well our stuff was “not strong enough” to go on the crate (no idea if that means they broke something or what?), so it had to be put on a regular truck. Well, the driver for the truck quit unexpectedly so they’ve had issues finding a driver.

I’m not really sure how they can call themselves a moving company if it’s taking them weeks to find someone to drive our stuff. But I guess Boston to Texas is pretty far. Our stuff supposedly left Boston yesterday and will be here sometime in the next 10 days. 

bedroom

{ Our makeshift bedroom the past week & a half }

Living without stuff has been rough, but we did bring a trailer full of the essentials so it’s not like we don’t have anything at all. We have Claire’s crib & most of her things, an air mattress, camping chairs, our kitchen table & chairs, all our clothes, some plates/kitchen stuff, etc. We’ve been making do but trust me, I am going to be happy dancing like nobody’s business when that moving truck arrives! 

Claire is going through a big sleep regression. She has never been an awesome sleeper, but we had a pretty good routine going until we left Boston. For the past 5 weeks or so, she has been waking up anywhere from 3-7 times a night, usually more like 4-5 for no real reason.

She is basically startling herself awake. She is obsessed with being swaddled but is really too big to be swaddled, especially since she can roll over. I have been very cranky with lack of sleep and was pretty upset that it coincided with the move since this is stressful enough. But nothing lasts forever with babies, so I know this too shall pass.

I just ordered Merlin Suit in a moment of desperation last night. I will legit do anything to get this child to sleep more!

But I do have some good things to say about her for our (late) 4 month update. Look for it later this week! 

Healthy habits are starting again. Basically since Claire was born, I either had a visitor in the house, was traveling, or moving so being healthy and fitting in workouts has not happened for real in about 4 months. Both my husband & I have teamed up together to make both nutrition and exercise a priority again. 

T25

I started T25 on Monday & I’m using MyFitnessPal again. In just two days, I already feel a huge difference. Thank goodness! I was afraid it would be so hard to get back into things but it actually feels more normal to work for my health than be lazy. I will always choose being healthy over doing nothing when I can help it. 

Also, if any of you are looking to work with a coach for BeachBody programs or become a health coach yourself, you should check out what Heather is doing! 

I joined a mom’s group. I’m so happy about this since I adored my mom’s group back in Boston. I joined MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers)  through a church that we are thinking of calling home for the next 6 months.

MOPS group

Although it says it’s for mom’s of preschoolers, it’s open to moms with kids ages 0-5. I don’t really know what the group entails yet since it doesn’t start until the middle of the month, but I am really glad it’s Christian-based. I’m just happy to have something to get out of the house & do here and meet people. 

We checked out our town. Because we’re in the middle of no where, some of it is pretty funky & a little run down.

river walk

But the downtown area is really cute. We went shopping downtown on Saturday, went to a winery, & walked along the river. 

So we are slowly but surely getting settled. Let’s hope the moving truck arrives soon!

Love Melissa

Questions for You: 

  • What’s the first thing you check out in a new town? 
  • What fitness goals are you working on right now? 

MY TAKE ON TEXAS SO FAR

by Leave a Comment

Happy Labor Day! 

I hope you have the day off and are enjoying some down time with family & friends. And if you didn’t pop over last week, the blog got a little redesign recently. I seem to get bored with my designs quickly, but I’m really liking this one at the moment. 

I haven’t really shared much about Texas so far, so I thought I’d shed some light on what I think of the Lone Star state so far. 

Mexican food rules. Oh how I missed thee delicious Mexican!

tacos for life

We bought these tacos from a small taco shop in town. The owner was from Mexico. They were so good & the sauce was so spicy. There is no shortage of Mexican around here. I will be eating it weekly with no shame. 

There are trucks – everywhere! I joked with my husband that we couldn’t park in a certain part of the parking lot because it must be for trucks only. We were the only non-truck car. There are also “Texas Edition” trucks all over, with this big star on them. I have no idea how these are different than regular trucks, they look the same except the emblem. 

People drive slow and are not in a hurry. This is actually refreshing coming from a big city where every other car was ready to run you off the road, literally. And plus, trucks don’t go that fast 😉 

Everything is “South West” & Texas-themed here. 

boot toilet bowl cleaner

I found this cowboy boot toilet bowl cleaner at Bed Bath & Beyond, plus Texas state flag art & coasters. Need I say more? Y’all are really into the “West” down here. 

There are only Texas plates here. Which is really odd to me, since I just moved from an area where you could drive to 5 different states in an hour. But you drive 5 hours away here and you’re still in Texas. My Mass plates stick out like a sore thumb for sure! 

There are these things called Kolaches. We’ve been driving by a place that says Donuts & Kolaches. I was so excited to see what kolaches were, but they are basically just breakfast versions of pigs in a blanket I think? 

kolaches

Not that good, but the donuts are great. 

It doesn’t actually feel as hot as I thought it would be. It is hot, like 88-98 most the time lately, but I felt like Boston was hotter in June than it is here in August just because of the humidity. When I tell people we just moved from Boston, they’re always like “oh, it’s so cool up there, what do you think of the heat?” But it got plenty hot in Boston. I am so glad there is not humidity here! 

Roaches. Omg roaches. I haven’t seen one in about three days but when we first moved in, it was a problem. And they weren’t always dead. They are huge and run fast and TOTALLY creep me out. I will never get used to that. 

:(

Target is the crap store & Wal-Mart is actually better around here. This is really sad news for a Target addict.  But you can buy alcohol just about anywhere here, so I bought some wine at Target the other day. That was pretty awesome! 

Questions for You:

  • Have you ever been to Texas? What did you think? 
  • What is your least favorite insect? Can I say all of them?! 

CLAIRE: 4 MONTHS

by Leave a Comment

Claire was 4 months old on August 15th, so I am quite a bit late in posting this, but alas – moving is hard. Moving with an infant is even harder! I am still catching my breath from the madness that is this move! 

Anyway, 4 months was a big one for Claire. Every month that passes, she becomes more “herself.” I can see her personality emerging and she is becoming so much more alert with time. It was a lot of fun to spend a good chunk of this time in Claire’s life with her grandparents who got to see her do some pretty cool things. 

Claire - 4 months

Sidenote: our 4 month photo shoot was not the best. It was a day late & this was the best I could get. At first I was disappointed because I wanted all her monthly shots to be at the same angle, so you could compare easily. But I am kind of loving the artsy look of this and how it shows her new bling!

This month Claire: 

  • went on her second long road trip from Boston to Tennessee 
  • continues to roll over even better now 
  • babbles like nobody’s business – she is a “talking” girl! 
  • grabs at objects and pulls them into her mouth 
  • laughed & squealed for the first time at Beans, dad, & grandpa 
  • got her ears pierced at Claire’s! 
  • eyes have lightened up + look a lot more like daddy’s 
  • enjoys being in the sitting or standing position a lot 
  • seems to need playtime daily now
  • enjoys being read to for short periods of time
playtime

She also stopped sleeping as well, which I’ve mentioned quite a few times. It’s called the 4 month sleep regression, which she hit at 3.5 months exactly. It can happen anytime from 3-5 months, just depending on development. Considering all that’s been going on with our move, I think it’s made the regression last longer than it would have if we hadn’t moved. I hope by next month I can report that things are at least improving since we won’t be as busy (I hope?), but I won’t hold my breath. 

Something exciting not related to her development but my sanity is that we ordered her room some furniture so we can have a real semblance of a nursery. Back in Boston we were just making do with furniture we had since we didn’t have enough space for more and were moving.

rocker
dresser
:)

We got this rocker & this dresser. I also got some really cute curtains. I can’t wait to share about her room once we put it together!  

Have a great Labor day weekend!

Love Melissa

Questions for You:

  • What are your plans for Labor Day? 
  • What do you think the most fun baby milestone is? I’m really excited about solid foods!

CLAIRE: 6 MONTHS

by Leave a Comment

Oh me oh my. Happy half-birthday, my dear! 

6 months

So many changes have taken place even in just the past month. The development from three months on is just crazy! 

Sleep Updates 

Since I always have so much to say about sleep and other moms always seem to want to know, sleep gets its own category now. 

Since about four months, I mentioned our lovely sleep regression period that seemed like it would never end. Sleep has just been all over the place but is getting better. Right at about five months, she just suddenly started sleeping through the night or only having one very short wake up.

When that happened, day naps completely fell apart. She basically had a “nap strike” for two weeks. Some days, she napped 20 minutes the ENTIRE day and was just fussing and tired almost all day. She used to nap anywhere from 3-5 hours a day before, so this was very hard for me to get used to. I would have almost traded getting up three times a night than have a cranky baby for 16+ hours! 

Naps are still not all there yet, but we are slowly building back to it. I’m sure that by next month though, sleep will take a major change if she starts crawling or teething for real. I’ve heard those can also cause sleep disturbances – yay! She did have a night where she slept 10 hours straight, got up to nurse and then slept another 2.5 hours. That was pretty awesome! For now, night sleep seems to be pretty good but it isn’t always consistent. 

Some new developments for Claire this month: 

  • has been very clingy lately. Sometimes we are having hour+ nursing sessions again because she just wants to be on me. She has not been content if I put her down in anything – the swing, play mat, or excersaucer so we have been doing a lot of baby wearing around the house lately and out
  • eating more solid food. She has now tried carrots, butternut squash, green beans, chicken, pears, bananas, and strawberries. She actually opens her mouth for food now when she likes it and is not fighting the spoon! 
  • able to put her wubbanub back in by herself now! The other day when I was on a run with her, her wubba was in a little pocket, not even near her. Next thing I know, I look down and see her sucking on it. Pretty cool!
  • loves to bear weight on her legs and practice standing. If we hold her hands, she can do all the standing herself, albeit being pretty wobbly 
  • same thing with sitting up. I thought she’d be closer to sitting by herself than she is, but we’re still working on it
  • figured out how to jump up and down in the excersaucer 
  • starting to show fear to some things. I was nursing her the other day and a fire truck drove by outside with the siren on. You should have seen the look on her face! HUGE sad face. It was adorable and sad at the same time
  • started moving legs around when on her belly, like she’s going to figure out crawling. I don’t see her at all close to crawling yet, but I have this feeling that once she does figure it out, crawling and getting around will happen very quickly! I’m scared. 
  • very whiny now and I don’t really know where this comes from. Sometimes she makes whiny sounds all day
  • can hold her bottle up herself now, sometimes 
6 months

My sweet, girl! I can’t believe how just six short months ago she was a six pound newborn and how in six short months she could be a walking, talking little girl! 

No questions today – have a great Friday!  

OUR FIRST FAMILY THANKSGIVING

by Leave a Comment

Happy late Thanksgiving & Black Friday!

thanksgiving 2015

I hope you had a great turkey day yesterday with people you love and food that was yummy. We hosted friendsgiving for the third year in a row with some of my husband’s coworkers. 

I made my usual cheddar shortbread crackers, which I realize I really need to share the recipe soon. 

cheddar shortbread

They’re like gourmet Cheez-Its and I get so many compliments on them every year. 

We had a great spread of fried turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole.

thanksgiving plate

It was so fun to have Claire around for her first holiday (since I don’t really count Halloween as anything). She had a great time stealing the show at dinner. 

Claire + dad

She tried her first bite of mashed potatoes and was a pretty big fan. We stuck to her usual peas and sweet potato baby food mix though. 

Claire is certainly my biggest reason to be grateful this year. I’m so glad the Lord chose us to be her parents and to give us such a sweet, growing girl. 

me + Claire

We’re just staying in today as it’s raining and cold here. We’re about to make some pancakes for all our friends that stayed over last night & just enjoy the day. 

Have a blessed holiday weekend!

RUN TO HOME BASE 9K

by Leave a Comment

Hey guys!

I am super busy since we are peacing out of Boston on Wednesday omg! But I just wanted to pop in for a quick recap of my first post-baby race. 

I signed up for this race only about a month in advance. My husband ran it last year and had a great time. I really just wanted one last race in Boston. But my plans to train for this got foiled by being sleep deprived (still), it being WAY hot and humid lately, and just the logistics of running with or without Claire was kind of hard. 

The night before the race, I still wasn’t sure if I was going to run it. If I didn’t my husband would have again but he knew I really wanted to. I hadn’t run more than 2.5 miles at one time since Claire was born (or in like 6 months), so I thought it could get really ugly to run 5.6 miles out of no where. I decided to run it though and if it got that ugly, I’d just call my husband to pick me up or walk the rest. 

The race is a really neat concept. It supports the Home Base program, which helps war veterans when coming home from deployments. The race starts and ends at Fenway Park and you cross the home plate and get your picture taken when you finish. 

A cool random thing that I happened to find when I was in Fenway before the race was this Mamava nursing/pumping station. 

Mamava

I forgot to take a picture of the outside of it, but it’s basically like a little tiny bathroom hut thing with a door that locks. There was hand sanitizer, two benches, a table, & an outlet for a pump or whatever inside. It was very comfy.

I knew I wanted to nurse Claire before the race since I’d be gone from her for about an hour, so this was perfect. Fun little perk! You can see if there is one nearby you on their website. 

Anyway, after that we watched some pre-race ceremonies that included some speeches from veterans who were helped by Home Base and singing the National Anthem. 

Fenway

The race started late and I was in the second wave which started much later than the initial race start, so I was getting kind of antsy. My first mile was the fastest, which I always have a problem with with races. I let all the people I’m with set the pace instead of the other way around. 

The first 2.5 miles were the hardest for me form nerves & just getting in my groove. I hit my stride in the rest of the race though. I really felt so good throughout it all and was able to keep plugging along, even though I hadn’t run that long in a while. 

I started the race with the intention to finish it and not keep an eye on time. I did wear my watch but wasn’t checking it which was nice. 

Even though this race was in July, it wasn’t that hot which was such a blessing! It was overcast and windy when the race started. I was worried it would be 95 degrees but the weather was great. It did get sunny and warm up quickly at the end but the majority of the race was very cool for it being July. 

Run to Home Base

I finished strong and feeling really good in just over an hour. Again, I didn’t have any time goals on this since the point of this race was just to finish but I had about an 11:00 pace. Only about 1:00 per mile off my old pace range, so I’m slowly coming back to where I was. It feels good! 

It was so nice greeting my happy and smiling baby girl at the end of the race. I actually thought about her most of the race since I’m not normally alone anymore. I hope she likes cheering me on, ’cause this mama is a running mama!

Questions for You: 

  • Do you race in the summer or not? Typically it’s a no go for me. 
  • How was your weekend?